I'm a horny, horny helmet

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
xoxovivafics
xoxovivafics

Struck By Lightning

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Pairing: chubby! Thor x black reader

Rating: Explicit, 18+ only. Minors, ageless, blank, & non-updated blogs will be blocked immediately.

Word count: 6,423 words

Plot: After moving to a new village to open an antique shop, you befriend Thor, the local woodworker. But you aren’t sure what to do about your growing feelings…

Warnings: For 18+ readers, this fic is filled with sex, including rough sex, vaginal sex, fingering, oral sex, rough kissing and dirty talk. Brief mention of family death and illness.

Notes: This was meant to be short, lol. I finally wrote a chubby Thor AU! I’ve listened to way too much 80s metal to get in the right headspace for this story. Thor is a comic accurate 6’6.

Tagging: @megamindsecretlair

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What had drawn you to this sleepy seaside village, besides the stunning views, was its quaint shops and thriving community. It was the perfect place to open your antique shop, finally moving from an online business to bricks and mortar. Against all odds, your cosy, quirky shop was a success.

You travelled around the country finding pieces from people trying to clear out Granny’s cottage for a quick house flip. Sometimes, the pieces were in amazing condition, needing only a quick clean and wax before they were put out on the shop floor. But sometimes they needed more help than you could give.

Luckily for you, your town had another hidden bonus. Thor Odinson, the hot woodworker and furniture restorer who worked across the road. 

It was hard not to notice him. He looked like a viking, tall and massively strong. His long hair was sun-kissed blond, his dark beard thick and well-trimmed. He was burly, with muscular, tattooed arms and a large, soft stomach that you wanted to lay your head on. 

He was just so damned masculine. He wore it with ease, lifting large, heavy furniture like they were toys and using tools like they were made for his hands only. Watching him wield a hammer shouldn’t have been as exhilarating as it was. 


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thor x black reader thor x reader chubby! thor thor odinson
fluffyprettykitty
fluffyprettykitty

thor nsfw alphabet

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Originally posted by chrisquartet

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Pairing: Thor Odinson x female reader (no other specifications!)

Word Count: ~1800 words

Warnings: : pretty much everything, ejaculations, penetration, sex toys, oral sex, size difference, oral fixation. if I missed anything major please let me know!

Author’s Note: Thor won that poll by a landslide! coming after him at the poll were billy & joaquin so let me know if you want one with either if them, and as always if any of this sparks an idea or you wanna see me explore something please let me know! Yeah, that was supposed to be written 2 months ago, what about it!

PS: dividers & banners by @saradika

Main Masterlist ・❥・Thor Odinson Masterlist

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thor odinson x reader thor x reader Nsfa hc
targaryenvampireslayer
targaryenvampireslayer

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𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐆𝐨 𝐃𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐓𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐬 𝐓𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭…

𝐃𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧!𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐫 𝐎𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐭. 𝐀 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐨𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐎𝐥𝐝, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩. 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐞.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟑𝟑𝟔𝟎

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐟𝐢𝐜. 𝐍𝐨𝐧-𝐜𝐨𝐧, 𝐝𝐮𝐛-𝐜𝐨𝐧, 𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐞. 𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫/𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞. 𝐎𝐫𝐚𝐥 (𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠). 𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭. 𝐓𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐞. 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐊 𝐘𝐎𝐔!

𝐀/𝐍: 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜! 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜, 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐬 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨. 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐣𝐚𝐳𝐳, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐈 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨! 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤!

𝐓𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 @suzs-fic-library 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 @flordeamatista 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐚𝐠𝐞!

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thor odinson x reader thor x reader demon!thor dark!thor
illwynd
williamfbuckley

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stop saying "gen z brought back bush-era purity politics" i grew up in the bush era and even then people weren't saying that you're a sex addict for having boring marital sexual congress in the same house as your children. this is just plain unhinged

hadeantaiga

Literally almost every millennial I know has a memory of accidentally walking in on their parents or hearing their parents having sex. It's fucking normal. Human beings have sex. Your parents fuck. Get over it. Being weird about it isn't healthy.

whatsnewalycat

I really loved Robert Evans’s response to this

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limnaia

I get not wanting to say, overhear your parents dirty talk or whatever, but come on. This is a bit much. My mum doesn't want to know the details of my sex life either, but she still opened the wrong drawer once and spotted my strap on. Shit happens. You've got to just recognise when it isn't your business, and move on. Like my mum - she shut the drawer, opened the right one and we never spoke of it because I'm a grown fucking adult.

prismatic-bell

Yeah, this. I once found some of my mom’s, uh….toys. And I do not mean dildos and vibrators.


And I just went “welp, THAT’S more than I needed to know” and grabbed whatever item it was I was actually looking for, and that was that.


People have sex. Including your parents, or you wouldn’t be here.

jabberwockypie

For the VAST majority of human history, most people's dwellings didn't allow for a separate room and sleeping space for the adults, let alone locking doors. We have SO MUCH more access to privacy than was the norm for most people. Use it. Lock the door and teach your kids to knock.